Johnny Remembers a Former Life

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on the road in New Mexico... Johnny sang to me of things he - barely - remembered.

Hola everyone. Very busy here in Grass Valley setting up the performance space and so forth. Much work to do. Black Valley lives again. Here's some pix:


Menlo Macfarlane and Douglass discussing the show details.


Melanie in her office.








Scenes from St. Joseph's, where the show is going to take place. I'll post some video soon of more stuff. More Stuff!

here's my apartment building:

Opening at Mowen Solinsky Gallery in Nevada City, CA - April 6..

then back to back performances of Death As A Salesman at St. Joseph's Cultural Center in Grass Valley, CA.

What the man himself says:

Prices will never be lower!

Pat's Cat

this is what I came home to...



now to get to work.

Hi Rudy.. nice to be here:

Man in an Orange Hat... just got this one back from near oblivion.

a little fan of the burst of truth...

soon... a "From The Long Barn" show... lotta old favorites in here...

here's some more pix from the trip in mostly random order:




Bisbee AZ


Bisbee AZ


Bisbee AZ


Sacto is nice in the winter.


more moon with bird


Bisbee AZ


downtown Sacto

the vids I've been putting up using YouTube are pretty bad. I must be doing something wrong - they get all chunky. Maybe it's just the quality of video from my tiny little camera, but the stuff looks pretty good before it's uploaded. Will figure this out!

in the meantime, here's a midtown Sac art store. California colors...

here's another

watch this one

hi everyone. I'm on the you tube bus now. here's a little video out of Magdalena, New Mexico... a tiny little town in the western mountains of the Land of Enchantment...



more soon... the caravan stopped for the evening just outside of Phoenix, in a suburb called "Surprise."

one of my favorite places: The Lantern. A Pittsfield landmark... have a cheeseburger and a beer.

Let the dead bake cakes for the dead. Or something like that.

We're working like demons on the new Death As A Salesman DVD. Trying to master, with an old dog's brain, ProTools and Final Cut Pro. We need crew - wanna help?

And don't forget to go over to my sister's blog. She's still pestering me something awful. help me out. Read, comment. Say nice things.

Self Portrait As An Old Dog.

You ever feel this way? Like there's a full moon and you just don't feel like howling, much as you'd like to, and as much as you feel it's your responsibility to howl at the moon. It's your job. But still, no enthusiasm. Even Sun Ra felt that way occasionally. I know I feel that way sometimes.

Have I told you about Dorothy's new blog? One of the reasons I feel like I do, maybe. I'm always depressed when I feel a competition coming on. I'd rather just declare myself winner. Anyway, it's her own blog and it's called Don't Surrender, Dorothy, and if she doesn't start getting some traffic soon I will get no rest.

We're going to be working together a bit later on the DVD version of Death As A Salesman. It will be fun. I'm looking for something along the lines of They Might Be Giants. The movie, not the group.

This is one of my sister Dorothy's favorite pictures. Obviously because it shows how much bigger and stronger she always was. I hate how I (on the right, of course) always look so tentative and worried. I must say though, that behind those looks, behind that genuine paranoia, came a plan, a master plan. One that I'm not quite ready to share yet. Anyway, I'm posting this pic as a gesture to my sister, who has HER OWN BLOG now, and can quit pestering me to use this one. One word, Dorothy: "MINE." Remember how that works? Anyway, best of luck on your new venture, and I really hope this doesn't cut into your responsibilities and stuff down at the cafeteria. You signed a contract.

Here's the link, and don't say I never did anything for you.

Don't Surrender, Dorothy

H co

O, so you weren't there, over at the Dreamaway Lodge in beautiful Becket, Mass? To see my sister Dorothy perform Death as a Salesman in progress, in progress, to be sure? In the same hallowed spaces where Joan Baez, Bob Dylan, and Alan Ginsberg once performed? Sorry. But it was a work in progress with plenty of bumps and dead spots and a lot, a lot, of forgotten lines. O, well. Here's the poster:



and here's a picture of our girl taken by and altered to make her look better by Joe Wheaton.



Opening down at the Outsiders Gallery next weekend. check the front page.

happy, happy. why not? someone said, sing, sing, ye creatures who live in the dust.

Didn´t make it over to Yobaim as planned, so enjoyed Carnaval here in the big city. Lotta people! Here´s a few pix. I climbed up on a chair, took me half and hour to get down, it was so crowded.







oops wrong parade

One of my favorite books is Incidents of Travel in the Yucatan by John Lloyd Stephens. It´s a great travel adventure book written in the 1850s; Stephens and his friend Catherwood had heard of mysterious ruined cities in the wilds of the Yucatan, and determined to find out if the stories were true. And they certainly did!



I was reading last night about their stay in Merida, not more than a few blocks from where I am sitting right now, and how they had found that the site of Merida was itself a huge ancient city that the Spaniards had torn down to build their own city. Apparently there had been a huge pyramid right at the site of what is now the plaza grande. and that further very large ruins had been destroyed both for building materials, and because they were in the way of the street layout... simply amazing. I find it less disturbing than the wholesale destruction of all of the Mayan holy books, tho. Because with those we lost the soul of their culture. The buildings were monuments, in the main, to conquering heroes and so forth, as usual.

Here´s some pics from the books; they´re woodcuts made from Catherwood´s drawings. Compare to the photos from Uxmal further down in the blog.

Thanks to an invitation from my friend Alex, I was able to escape the urban version of Carnaval for a more traditional one in a small pueblo called Yobaim, about 2 hours outside of Merida. What a difference - I have no love for the mostly corporate nature of the big city celebrations no matter the name, and as much as I love homo sapiens, in the aggregate I find them a bit difficult to take. So on the bus and off to Yobaim Alex and I went. First stop was the Loncheria Tio Abraham, where we were escorted to the back part of the place, under sheet iron and where a few ladies were cooking on wood fires. fresh tortillas and other things I can't remember the name of. My spanish isn't very good, and my hearing is worse, so once one of those 6 part conversations get going I'm kind of lost, but my hosts were extremely kind and I ended up with some delicious food without having to know how to ask for it. All I had to do was smile and nod. A tour of the pueblo's plaza with Rene and Alex, and then into the central bulding for the dance competition (pix below). We stayed in a traditional mayan house, a kind of oval shaped house made of rocks with a thatch roof. Too much Sol (local beer) and dancing for me. My friend said that I should stick to painting and leave singing and dancing to those who have a talent for it.

Next day were compasas, which takeplace in more traditional villages during Carnaval. It's where men dress as women and go touring around the city and in eahc house or business, do a routine of dance and raunchy songs. Each stop lasted for about 30 minutes. Traditional dances, all orchestrated by someone who looked like his name was Herman and like he fixed dishwashers. My goodness. From teenagers to an elderly fellow with gold-rimmed teeth who looked like he enjoyed the bikini top and wig no end. I certainly did! Now this goes on ALL DAY LONG. ALL NIGHT LONG. We had more beer and more botanas, then I took a long nap, and then we're waiting for the bus, the whole crew goes by again. Energizer bunny has met his match. Just as bouncy as ever. This culture exudes sanity and good humor; it was exhilarating and I felt blessed to be there. It would have been impossible without being taken by the hand by a friend who knew all the locals... so much more but the battery in my laptop is getting low. We are going to return to Yobaim tomorrow for the wrap up of Carnaval, and I'll try to get some pix but I feel like such a nerd when I get the camera out. Like I'm lucky enough to be there, I don't want to spoil the moment by being rude....



where I stayed:




from a trip to the ocean

something that I used to do, and have been urged to return to:
title: Hey, Are you in a Green Vase, too?

and here is one of the nice neighborhoods in Merida where I might buy a house:



all for now. Heard it was cold in Pittsfield.......

ah. Finally figured out how to upload pix from here in Merida. Wasn´t hard. Here we go:




Las Arecas front (and dining) room.



On the street:



A row of old towhouses - looks like they´re being renovated.



Some great colors on the street:



And then down at Uxmal:

old friends

R.I.P., Helen. Thanks for everything.

So there's nothing wrong with my brain, they say. I know they're hiding something from me. Looking at my complete CAT scan, it seemed impossible that the thing - the brain, that is - could be functioning at all. But the good doctor said that there was no problem there... But headaches, weakness, loss of concentration: what else could it be but a brain tumor?

Anyway, I'm feeling better, and about to move into a new apartment/studio, so I can stay home and work all the time. yeah, baby; no driving, moving the car, etc. this winter.

Looking for progress on Death As A Salesman, and other writing/painting projects like What I Did Today....

Maybe I'll even be up for doing more writing here...

I did some drawings of the old railroad station here in Pittsfield for an Hector on Stilts CD cover, and here's what just arrived:



Those are my lamp poles and if you buy the CD and look closely you'll see Jeb and Clayton standing next to the phone booth near the old station. Legendary Storefront Artist Project (and much more)graphics Master Mark Tomasi did the layout and color - I think it's splendid!

back from california. here's an old friend of mine, menlo mcfarlane with a couple of new friends from Mexico.


We were able to visit. Menlo started the Black Valley Performance gang and art colab in Grass Valley CA. Here's some pix of a few of our old posters.

Storm a comin'. Had to wonder what might be hiding behind that gigantic lense-shaped cloud.

Lotta lightning, buckets of rain, wind so that I had to nail everything down in the semi-outdoors studio. lots of fun!

sitting the epic cafe now, about to start working again on Death As A Salesman - the performance piece I've urged my twin sister dorothy to perform. I'll do the writing and stay home and do phone interviews only.

Here are some titles of songs that will be in the show - Here's what you'll hear!

Words Fail Me
All Too Soon
I Dreamed the Dream of the Death of Iven B.
Hungry For Hell
I'll Take the Lobotomy If I Can Keep the TV

and many many more

It goes without saying that these will not be available in any store!

But it will be continuously performed here

if you can find it. Good Luck!


Been hitting some golf balls here - in Tucson, slightly guilt inducing, since one has to ask of the city in general, where does the water come from? I guess we take modern engineering and such so much for granted that such questions - like where does the water come from? Will it run out? - just don't make any sense to people. All that aside, I have to get ready for heavy duty golf death matches with my lawyer P. Rapp. We're contemplating putting together a Storefront Artists Golf League. Interested?

Via Brad Delong and Billmon is some relevant material - here's Jared Diamond at a recent speech, answering a question:

Diamond reported that his students at UCLA tried to imagine how the guy who cut down the LAST tree [on Easter Island] justified his actions. What did he say? Their candidate quotes: "Fear not. Our advancing technology will solve this problem." "This is MY tree, MY property! I can do what I want with it." "Your environmentalist concerns are exaggerated. We need more research." "Just have faith. God will provide."

Here in tucson with record setting heat. Makes things seem kind of quiet.

I'm painting with oils right now - if I tried to use acrylics here they would dry on the brush before I even got close to the canvas. Acrylics eat up brushes too fast even in the best of circumstances.

Much work on "Why I Paint" - a tribute to Joe Brainard's "I Remember".

If you've got any interest in learning about Buddhism, please look into B. Allan Wallace's "Buddhism with an Attitude". Not a great title, but a wonderful introduction to Buddhism in the form of a study of the Mind Training Points.

Jared Diamond is getting lots of coverage lately. Hope it's in time!

Here's evening at the ranch:



that's my painting light in the background left. Thanks Heather! Hope you enjoy your time in Spain!

I'm in Tucson for a month or so. Nice and warm.

Billmon - worth reading.

Old friend of mine, Frederic Christie, has a blog that isn't a blog. He has one of those minds that makes me glad that I can garden and paint and pound rocks together, because in the thinkin' area, I can't keep up. He lives in Davis, CA, my old hangout, and which little town still appears in my paintings more than you would think, since I last lived there in 1990.

Frederic writes about politics and buddhism. check im out.

Met some great artists at the Artshow in Pittsfield last weekend. I have such mixed feelings about the events, but I'm always so glad to have done it. Standing around talking is a lot of work for me. I'm almost deaf and have trouble comprehending things sometimes, and besides, like a lot of artists, I'd just rather be home working. But part of the work is getting out and talking to people, and seeing them enjoy and understand your work, or seeing them dismiss or dislike it. When they understand your work in ways that you don't, that's even better. When and if they dislike it, it's an opportunity to practice not being so attached to your own opinion of your work, which is very healthy.

Lisa Reinke had some great work, and is also a blogger! Check her site out!

Another Artshow on June 25,26 which I'll be at as well if you missed this one. Also, Art On No - the building where my new studio is - will be having a big open house on Friday June 24 and an Open Studio on June 24, 12-5. 311 North Street!

Watched Crash last weekend on the recommendation of a friend. Note: I give a few things away...

The Buddhists say that anger is the worst emotion - it takes us straightaway and without passing GO to the Hellworld. It is the most destructive to our own well-being (both here and in the hereafter) and the most likely to be passed on to others in an emotional contagion.

This movie shows the contagion, as one person passes their frustration and anger onto another, and on, and on, and then antidote to the contagion, that is, compassion, in ways rarely matched. The acting is superb. Don Cheadle plays a detective who takes it all on himself. There's a Tibetan practice of taking on other's suffering called tonglen, and Cheadle's character does it, doesn't know why, just that it's what he must do.

Crash also goes against the grain by making the characters complex. There are no strictly good characters, nor strictly bad. Y'know, the way life is, tho we're encouraged in so many ways to not know that, and to think of ourselves as good, and others as bad. Crash tricks us, in a way, by setting up some really loathesome characters, and some whom we're likely to think of as good guys. And then we're surprised. And even within the frame of the story, characters are forced to deal with this same situation.

One character experiences what is clearly enlightenment; he tries to murder someone, and when his attempt fails, he sees it all. The madness drove him right out through the top. "It's all OK," he says, over and over. That's what I think we don't realize. "It's all OK."

I'm troubled by thoughts of another kind of crash. But I can see the benefits in this way. We're insane; maybe it will take us right out through the top. One of my favorite Chogyam Trungpa books is Transcending Madness. Now that's what I'm talking about.

Just saw this on Slashdot. Some Japanese scientists are aiming to be the 1st to make a hole through the Earth's crust and get to the mantle. They are hoping to use this research to possibly discover life down there, better understand undersea earthquakes, and uncover records of climate change.

This is a pretty cool prospect to me. I hope that the team gets their "Chikyu" (Japanese for Earth) drill down there. I doubt this will be an adventure of Verneian proportions, but it is nice to see that there is a frontier on Earth that still hasn't been conquered by man.

"Humans have brought back lunar rocks to understand the universe, yet we have never reached the mantle which accounts for most of earth."

In a recent post by Kevin Drum - in which he listed 5 books that he hadn't been able to finish - many of the commenters mentioned Gravity's Rainbow as something they couldn't finish, a doorstop, impossible to read, etc.
I recently ran across a copy of Bookforum that featured a bunch of writers' take on Pynchon, lo these many years after he shook everything up with Gravity's Rainbow. Reading their comments, I was reminded how shattered I was by reading the book. It, more than any other book I ever read with the possible exception of Time Out of Joint by PK Dick, actually changed my brain. I mean, it was like LSD in the sense that "you'd never be the way you were before." You couldn't go back, you were changed forever.

I was so taken by it that I built rockets - here's a bad foto of my 2-stage V2 rocket - painted black - my schwartzraketen - fired over the houses of Anchorage AK in the mid 70s. A thing of beauty. No one else was ever the same, either.

Somewhere along the line I read recently - again - of Stanley Milgram's work on authority and conscience. If you're not familiar with it, please look it up. Briefly, he showed that most people will cause harm to others if they're ordered to by an authority. That's most. Don't know if anyone has used this in connection with torture and abuse in Iraq and Afghanistan, but it certainly looks germane. People will do things that their conscience tells them they shouldn't if someone who appears to be an authority tells them to. It really seems to be beyond belief, and yet study after study confirms the results. It says a lot about who we humans are. Or what.

One lesson? Pick your authority wisely, or not at all. Douglass Truth -- the original, I'm just a low-level iteration -- proved to me once and for all that there are no authorities. Something shocking and frightening to almost everyone when they first learn it. If you find yourself in need of an authority, just concentrate your mind on Douglass Truth's sublime equanimity, as shown below. He won't mind - he won't even notice! And you'll learn, eventually, that you can only trust yourself.

Also via The Revealer, a fantastic piece on Sol Star, the Jewish "I've been called worse by better" store-owner on Deadwood, my favorite show.

From The Revealer a good piece by Jeff Sharlet on a NYT puff-piece on Rick Santorum. How can reporting in major media be so bad?

I just read an article in the New Yorker about meth, internet, sex, and death in the gay community. Not good news. Put it on the shelf, now about to break, with the other tomes about oodles and oodles of unnecessary suffering and death. The article left me wondering why people are so self-destructive, and in this regard gays are no different than anyone else, with the exception of certain style issues, as one might expect. But the article left me feeling something else. Something left out. We talk about everything up to the moment of death, and then the curtain is pulled, and it is no longer polite to talk about it. Unless someone brings up infantile notions of heaven and hell. What happens when we die? Does anyone know? Is it important?

Our culture has this one great blind spot that occludes all others: our unwillingness to face death, and our reluctance to learn about How To Die, or to even know that there might be such knowledge. We joke about it all the time, but when the coffin door slams down, we may wish we'd learned a little more about it when we could have. In the meantime, here on the surface of our beloved little mudball, we're all driven completely crazy by this lack of basic self-knowledge, by this tremendous occlusion, this vast river we call Denial. And it is this, I think, that paradoxically allows us to be so violent, so ready to inflict death upon others.



Who - or what - is this guy; does he, by any chance, look familiar?

I started advertising on America Blog - the ad will show up sometime in the next few days. Some blogs are getting incredible numbers of readers, along with the ad rates that go with it. If I were in the newspaper business I'd be reading Dan Gilmore and trying to figure out a new strategy...

Had a nice conversation with Paul yesterday about seeing buying and selling as a potentially spiritual transaction. Dangerous area, but anything that can be used or viewed in a spiritual context is equally able to be used in a materialistic fashion...
There's a Zen proverb - the teacher exhorting his students to be "as white doves on snow..." that is, fit in, or at least appear to do so.

So how would you hide in a totally commercial society?